America is a fascinating place.

Take for example our attitude toward homosexuality. Has there been another social issue in the history of the world that has moved as quickly from stigmatization to acceptance? Up until a few years ago, gay people were routinely jailed, fired, beaten, institutionalized or killed in America simply for being gay. They were discharged by the thousands from the military for being homosexual under the pretense of being security threats. As recently as fifteen years ago, the concept of marriage between two people of the same sex was completely inconceivable to, and heartily disapproved of by, the vast majority of Americans. Now, however, not only is gay marriage legal throughout the United States, more people are upset by not being invited to one than by them actually taking place. Gay people still suffer discrimination and hatred in pockets throughout America, and there are still milestones that need to be reached to ensure that all people, regardless of their sexual orientation, receive access to the same civil rights as everyone else, but it is impossible to ignore the tremendous strides that have been made in just the past decade alone. It is stunning to realize that, in one generation America went from a country with 80 percent disapproval of gay marriage to a majority now approving it. It fills me with pride knowing that Americans can change their minds, can learn to accept that which it doesn’t understand, and can grow more inclusive as a nation. (If only we could have evolved as quickly on the subject of race after the Civil War. Oh, what a country we could have been.) And yet, if you listen to people vocalize their fear of having a transgender person in a public bathroom next to their daughter, you would feel our thinking hasn’t evolved at all.

The more I hear what Americans think about transgender people, the more I realize that Americans have no idea what a transgender person is.

This is the point in my pensive little essay that I would like to point out that a)being transgender is not the same thing as being gay and b)I am by no means an expert in transgenderism. I am an ordinary person like the vast swath of you out there; under-educated, coated with too much Doritos nacho cheese dust, and completely unfamiliar with how to interpret scientific data. What I do seem to do more than your typical commenter on Yahoo! News articles though is respect the concept of science and ask probing questions before I render an opinion on a subject. Those two traits alone apparently qualify me to be on the TED Talks board of directors, they being in such short supply here among the general Dorito-eating population.

Most people seem to think all science is suspect and fraudulent, and when people aren’t dismissing science outright they are reacting emotionally to every subject on which someone asks them to give an opinion. “What do you think of immigrants?” “THEY’RE TERRORISTS!” “How do you feel about transgender people?” “THEY’RE CHILD PREDATORS! KEEP THEM AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER! I MEAN, IF THEY WANT TO PEE NEXT TO MY SON, THAT’S FINE. A BOY’S GOT TO EXPECT A LITTLE SURPRISE EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE WHEN STANDING AT A URINAL. WE EVEN GOT A NAME FOR IT. WE CALL IT ‘CROSSING STREAMS.’ BUT, CHRIST, KEEP THEM DEVIANTS OUT OF THE WOMEN’S BATHROOM!”

One of the first questions I asked myself when articles about transgender rights started popping up all over the internet is “Why am I seeing these all of sudden?” and “Is this some sort of leftist conspiracy to destroy this great nation of ours?” (The answer to the latter question I quickly realized was no, as the introduction of new ideas in a democracy does not weaken it, they strengthen it. It is the resistance to new ideas that causes nations to weaken, but that is a topic for another day.) The issue seems to have sprung up with greater frequency this year in part due to the fact that the more powerful LGBT advocacy groups such as the Human Rights Campaign can devote more of their time and resources to transgender rights now that gay marriage has been legalized throughout the nation. But that is not the only reason this subject is being discussed more. It also due to the fact that more families are realizing that they have gender dysphoric children, and that there are hormone treatments available to assist them.

And so I realize that this issue is springing to the forefront of our collective conscious because of a variety of unrelated events, springing forth from both the…

Whoa.

Do you see what I did there? I brought up one of the most disputed underlying factors of transgenderism and completely glossed over it, as if everyone in the United States accepts it as fact. So, let’s back up a bit.

Gender dysphoria. (“What is it?” “Is it some sort of leftist conspiracy to destroy this great nation of ours?” Again, the answer to the latter question is no, as realizing that something exists in no way means that a)it is from the left end of the political system or b)you are attempting to destroy your country.)

Gender dysphoria is defined as the condition of feeling one’s emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one’s biological sex when I type “what is gender dysphoria” into the Google search bar. Simple, right?

For a frightening number of people in this country, that still doesn’t make any sense. They respond to this topic with snapped shut, grammatically incorrect comments like “your born a boy, you a boy.” They refuse to believe that anyone on God’s green earth, (because, invariably, God plays a huge role in their reasoning) would feel like a boy on the inside when they don’t have a wang-dang-doodle, (the scientific term for penis), between their legs. “How can they feel like a boy when they can’t even aim where they pee? Don’t make no damn sense,” is as far their logic typically extends.

And that’s where you would hope that the country’s evolving understanding about homosexuality would allow for some measure of understanding of transgenderism. Let’s remember: up until very recently, it was simply inconceivable to a startling number of straight people that a person could be attracted to someone of the same sex. Homosexuality made as much sense to them as a man being attracted to a goat and, sadly, comparisons to bestiality were frequently made by prominent national politicians (*cough* Santorum *cough*) and Southern Baptist ministers. Gay men were automatically equated with child molesters and sexual deviants. Sadly, some in society still hold that view; their numbers are rapidly diminishing, albeit not fast enough.

It is important for me to point out that sexuality and gender identity are not the same thing. That, too, does not make a lot of sense to people who are not comfortable making subtle distinctions in areas in which distinction was previously not required. But, just as weather and climate are not the same thing, sexuality and gender identity are not the same thing. To a certain degree, I can understand the confusion. We have had thousands of years of experience discussing sexuality and weather, but climate and gender identity are relatively recent topics of debate. This shouldn’t be a problem, as human beings are amazingly adaptable, but it is. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if a country’s overall receptiveness to change is directly proportional to a segment of the population within that country becoming increasingly resistant to change.

I was born female. And, other than a brief phase in childhood when I really wanted to pee standing up, I have absolutely no idea what it feels like to want to be male. I have no idea what it feels like to be a woman trapped in a man’s body. That being said, I also have no idea what it feels like to worship Jesus Christ or what it feels like to hate chocolate or what it feels like to go camping every weekend or what it feels like to love The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Just because I personally do not know what it feels like to experience something in the world does not mean that other people don’t have the right to feel that way.

I feel like I should draw more attention to that last sentence.

Just because I personally do not know what it feels like to experience something in the world does not mean that other people don’t have the right to feel that way.  

It seems like such a simple, straight-forward sentiment, one that everyone should have baked into their core. It seems like such a fundamental part of being a complete human being that we should have to put no more conscious thought into than we do breathing or swallowing. Just because I personally do not know what it feels like to experience something in the world does not mean that other people don’t have the right to feel that way.

So the question is, if you feel like a girl, and all your thoughts and mannerisms are feminine, if you act like a girl, if you want to be a girl, if the thought of your penis repulses you, and if you slide into depression at the thought of having to live the rest of your life as a boy, and you’re seven years old, what do you? What do your parents do?

Now, to answer that question some parents would say, “He was born a boy, he is a boy. That is how God made him.” And to those parents I say, “Thank God your child wasn’t born with a cleft palate or a heart defect. You must be so grateful that God didn’t make him deaf. I wouldn’t want you to refuse to have him outfitted with cochlear implants simply because God made him deaf.” There are thousands of health issues that could potentially arise in a child’s life that need to be addressed. They are typically treated by even the most God-fearing parents because most parents don’t want their child to be “as God made him,” they want him to be healthy and happy. (“Oh, yeah, our boy was born with the diabetes. We would get him treatment but, tsk, you know. That’s how God made him.”)

What is it that is so sacrosanct about the genitalia you were born with that makes them inviolate? You personally might identify strongly with the gender you were born with…but what if you didn’t? What would you do?

The naturally obstinate answer, of course, from people who refuse to impart any empathy to transgender people is “I would learn to accept the gender I was born with.” It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? (Transgender teenager: “Oh, so you want me to…just accept my gender? Gosh, why didn’t I think of that! I have been struggling with gender dysphoria since before I could talk, but you just cured me of it. Wow. It’s been a long 18 years. I don’t know why I didn’t try that earlier. Thank you, Mr. Right Wing Republican!”) This refusal to accept biological differences has existed for thousands of years. You feel left-handed? Oh, no, that won’t do, society said. You feel attracted to the same sex? Oh, no, that won’t do, society said. You feel like you’re the wrong gender? Oh no, that won’t do, society is now saying. You would think that, after centuries of being proven silly, that people would learn to stop being so obstinate and extreme.

Two seemingly valid reasons people oppose transgenderism is because they feel that a)children suffering from gender dysphoria are too young to know what they want and are in no position to make such a life-changing decision and b)they don’t want children to lose the ability to reproduce when they get older. On the surface these points seem entirely reasonable, but they do not hold up under deeper scrutiny. Children who feel they are the wrong gender are miserable. They suffer from a disconnection from their body and an unhappiness with their place in the world that people who are comfortable with their gender identity cannot begin to understand. By telling children that they don’t know what they want, or that it is a phase, or that they will grow to love their bodies as they get older, all we do is push them closer to suicide. The same holds true for the ability to procreate. What difference is it going to make that my child can reproduce if he doesn’t survive to adulthood or he identifies so strongly as a woman that the thought of having sex with a one repulses him?

Recent statistics reveal that over forty percent of transgender adults have attempted suicide. That is a staggering, shocking number. I don’t want to offend you, but you either want to reduce that number or you are a heartless, sociopathic cunt. (For my own sanity I am going to assume that you are in the former group.) There really is no middle ground.

If feeling like you are one gender while having the genitalia of another is so depressing, so horrifying, so mortifying for those going through it that they would rather kill themselves than endure that dichotomy for a second longer, then it is long past time for us to re-evaluate what is most important here. Do we want our citizens to live long, full, happy lives or do we want people to live depressed, isolated, woefully short ones, completely disconnected from their physical selves? Again, not trying to offend you with blunt rhetoric, but do we care about other people and accept each other’s differences or do we only give a shit about people that are exactly like us in every conceivable way?

Thankfully, not everyone in America has a problem accepting transgender people. But virtually the entire Republican Party stands in opposition to transgender-inclusive policies and it refuses to grant of civil rights to their class, so it is obvious that a sizable number of prejudiced people fill our church pews, watch RHA, and order Cheeseburger Egg Rolls at the local Applebee’s. They need to be educated and enlightened. They came around to the concept of homosexuality. They can be brought to understand transgender people, too. And, when they do, I will have but one thought in my head:

America is a fascinating place.