Here we go again.

The extremists in the Republican Party are playing yet another game of chicken with America. Today, October 1st, 2013, they engineered a shutdown of the federal government rather than attempt to pass a spending bill in the House of Representatives that doesn’t defund Obamacare.

I don’t want to be typing this. I don’t want to be drag into the fray, no matter how insignificantly. I do not want yet another insane tactic by the GOP to compel me to write a blogpost. I do not want my voice to join in with the cascade of millions that are crying out on social media, either in favor* or in dissent, of the rampant stupidity that is on display in John Boehner’s House of Representatives.

But, here we go again.

I have a lot of other shit going on in my life–shit that is much more interesting, enlivening & entertaining than this clusterfuck that those Republican asshats in Washington have deliberately created. I would much rather be talking about that stuff. But, momentous, historical events like the Republican Party intentionally showing their ass to the entire world need to be documented, unlike my excitement over finding a new and improved roommate. (And that is such an interesting story. I would much rather be writing an essay about that, believe me. But then I’d be the narcissist who, on one of the most significant political days of Barack Obama’s second term, decided to write about her “personal growth” and “happiness” and “relief” rather than about the catastrophic shouting matches that are undoubtedly going on right now in the hallowed halls of Congress, even this late at night. And I just couldn’t be that person.)

Here’s what I would like to say about before I wrap this blogpost up so that I can hopefully practice a little guitar before I head to bed–that’s right: I’m trying to learn how to play the guitar. ANOTHER fun, interesting thing that I sorely wish I was telling you about instead of having to waste even an ounce of energy thinking about that incompetent boob John Boehner and his merry band of pranksters–WE ALL SAW THIS COMING.

And if you didn’t see this coming, then you haven’t been paying attention.

I am not a pundit or a prognosticator. I barely know how to spell them. But, it has been patently obvious to me ever since I heard one Tea Party candidate in Nevada suggest that, in lieu of affordable health care legislated by the government, people could barter chickens with their doctor for medicine, that every single politician who was proud to proclaim themselves “Tea Party Republicans” were batshit insane and dangerous. It’s not as simple as “the lunatics have taken over the asylum.” Oh, no. It’s the lunatics who throw their own feces on the wall then dip their hand in it to spell “patriotism.”

(I’m the kind of writer that likes to leave ‘visual images’ imprinted on your mind. You’re welcome.)

It has also been obvious that the Speaker of the House, a so-called “moderate” Republican, has catered to their every whim ever since Nancy Pelosi handed him the gavel.

We’ve had to endure this style of brinksmanship entirely too many times before from this Congress and the one directly preceding it.

So it really should come as no surprise that we are where we are: incapable of being able to compromise with the Tea Party and with 40% of the government shutdown.

Tea Party Republicans do not want to compromise. They view compromise as a dirty, traitorous word. They want everything to go their way, and they do not care how much pain they cause people in order to achieve their goals. Because people don’t matter to them. Principles & ideals matter to them. The consequences are insignificant.

They are convinced that Obama is ruining America. Therefore, they can never agree with Obama about anything of substance. Because if they do, they would be aiding the enemy.

They have so convinced themselves that Obamacare–the most noble attempt at social engineering that any Congress in over 40 years has managed to pass–is going to lead to the destruction of America that they would willingly destroy America in order to save it from Obamacare.

They are so convinced that government spending is useless and rife with fraud, waste & abuse, that they willingly slash billions and billions of dollars haphazardly out of a budget, arrogantly dismissive of the harmful impact such cuts cause.

They use the fact that Jesus Himself has not manifested Himself on this plane to deliver the holy & righteous up to the Kingdom of God as proof that they are NOT causing irreparable damage to America’s people, its economy, and its reputation. Because if it WAS the End Times, we’d see some levitating bodies. Their absence merely proves that we all just need to get over ourselves and stop worrying and let the Tea Party cleanse America.

(I realize that the above paragraph is rather mangled. I need to take time to shape my thoughts more precisely. I need to edit it. But, I don’t want to be writing this essay, much less editing it, so I’m not going to. My apologies for making you read it or any other horribly garbled sentences, for that matter. Although–thank you for reading it. That’s awful nice of you. I like you.**)

They are, in short, dangerous fanatics. They have been appeased one too many times by their colleagues in Congress, and now they are taking their heightened sense of righteous fury to a whole ‘nother level.

And if the showdowns that are occurring here in October of 2013 do not convince a sizable majority of Americans that the Republican Party is not to be trusted to govern, because they are acting as disciplined as Martin Lawrence, Charlie Sheen, Amanda Bynes & Lindsay Lohan at an all-you-can-eat marijuana/crack buffet, then the fault doesn’t lie with Congress, the fault lies with us.

We have got to stop electing these morons. Sure, sure, South Carolina and Texas are always going to be full of batshit asshats who hold the contradictory ideas of the South Rising Again AND the New World Order Government coming to take away their guns in perfect harmony in their heads…but I am about done with this split electorate shit. If, after all of this maniacal crap, fifty percent of this country still thinks the Republican Party has the best interests of the country at heart…? If after the 2014 election dozens of Republicans do not lose their seats to more rational, sane people? Well. Let’s just say in that case 2015 is gonna be known as The Year Aunt Laurie Drank Herself to Death around the ol’ family homestead.

And I would much rather just learn to play the guitar rather than become a raging alcoholic, if you don’t mind. So, please. Stop voting these fucking morons into office.

Thank you. I am going to go practice the guitar now. I’ve learned eight notes already! And supposedly I can play ‘Rockin’ Robin,’ but I can assure you, despite what my fingers are trying to do on the frets, I really, really can’t.

*and go fuck yourself, if you’re in favor of what’s happening in Washington DC right now. No. Seriously. Go grab an unlubricated broomstick and shove it up your ass. Pull it out and then plunge it back in there. Repeat until you realize how utterly wrong your point of view is. Then get yourself to the emergency room and take advantage of that insurance plan mean old Obama forced you to purchase by having someone take care of that rectal bleeding for you.

**unless you’re in favor of what’s happening in Washington DC right now. In that case, please refer to the asterisk above.